Sometimes life just seems to scream STOP. Stop. Look back. Learn. Do not make the same mistakes over and over again. Process. Do things differently and act in a way that bring no harm to you or others.
This STOP moment can be induced through various means. A health scare. A fall-out with a friend. A mental breakdown. You name it.
It must be a talent to recognise those moments and act accordingly. A talent I seem to lack.
Those moments have come and gone. I always ran. As far away as possible. The other end of the world not excluded. That’s how I deal with it. Run away and turn inwards. Ignore whatever fucked is happening.
A very selfish way of dealing. No thought spared for others, who in hindsight, care for whatever is going on though details of the fuckedupness are never fully enclosed. That is simply the person I am. Or shall I say; I was.
I simply can’t run away anymore. I must face whatever evil lurks in the shadows. I must fight. For survival. Because what’s coming ain’t no bullet that means fuck all. It ain’t no heartbreak that pushes me into the abyss of depression. It ain’t no Freudian shit involving my parents.
It is life. It is survival. A fight my body and soul must fight simply to exist in this breathing organism as it is now.
From that I can not run away. Stop me if I even hint at trying. Scream STOP to remind me.
